Expectations
by LaurielS
Summary: The night before a test, Elrohir wonders if he will live up to his father's expectations. I don't own anything, except my own ideas.


**Expectations**

Author's Notes: To all those out there who are pressurised by all the expectations, may this short story be of comfort to you.

 **Expectations**

Elrohir sat in his family's private garden and stared at the starlit skies above. He had a test tomorrow and he really should be asleep, but no matter how much he twisted on his bed and disturbed his twin, sleep would not find him. After much protest from his older twin, he had left the room and wandered aimlessly around the corridor before finding himself in the garden, seeking solace in the stars like he had done when he was younger.

"Elrohir?" came a deep and familiar voice.

"Ada," he acknowledged, before turning his attention once more to the heavens above.

Elrond watched him closely, not wanting to disturb him. Elrohir was obviously troubled—he could see it in his eyes, but it seemed like he did not want to share his burden with anyone.

Still, no harm trying, thought Elrond. "What troubles you, Elrohir?"

"It is nothing, Ada."

There was silence for a while, and the two made small talk before Elrond asked once more if Elrohir would like to share his troubles.

"It IS nothing, Ada," Elrohir almost snapped. He stopped himself, slightly surprised (and ashamed) by his outburst.

"I am sorry, Ada."

"My son," said Elrond gently, "You have not been like this since a few hundred years ago. It pains me to see you so troubled."

Elrohir sighed. He knew that his father meant well and now that his interest had been piqued, he will not give up. He really should be careful next time…or should he? Was this not what he had wanted? A chance to tell his father what he had been thinking all along?

Should he? But what will his father think?

"I…" started Elrohir, "I am afraid I will let you down again, Ada."

"Why do you think so? You have never let me down."

"I…" Elrohir averted Elrond's eyes and stared at the dimly lit pond in front of him, "I did not make it as a healer's apprentice."

"Ai, Elrohir, is that what troubles you so?" Elrond laughed, "So you did not make it as a healer. I do not see why that is a problem."

"But you are a healer, Ada! Everyone expected me to be a healer's apprentice, to at least have enough skill to pass a mere test given to all elflings our age. Yet I did not even get through the first round, when even Rissien, who did not even have enough empathy to care for anyone, and Sadron, who constantly seem to be stressed out about everything, did! And did well enough to train as an apprentice, whilst I… am not good enough… despite being your son."

"But you were not interested in the arts of healing, were you?"

"I…I did not know. I do not know even now. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had been good enough—if I had gone down the path. And sometimes I wish it had happened, but sometimes I feel lucky it had not. But it bothers me. I feel like I am lacking in something, but I do not know what. It is precisely because I know not what is wrong that I feel worried—I am worried these same qualities will put me down again tomorrow, as the tests to select students as part of the Junior Council begin."

"I do not believe that will happen, Elrohir. I have heard from Erestor about your progress in diplomacy and argumentation, and I have no doubt that you will do well tomorrow. However, even in the unlikely—very unlikely—event that you do not, you will also not be letting me down. You are training under Erestor, and you have survived till now. That very fact makes me very proud, for Erestor is not known to be soft on his students."

"Perhaps. But I will never be as good as you are, Ada."

"I never wanted you to parallel me, Elrohir. You are yourself. You should be building your own strengths and character, not copying me. You are unique. Why would you go and copy someone else?"

There was silence for a while whilst Elrohir contemplated his father's words. Whilst he was glad to hear his father speak so, he could not ignore the little gnawing in his heart, the thought that he had failed his father once, and might fail his father again.

Elrond looked at the thoughtful features on Elrohir's face and sigh. He knew what Elrohir was thinking. Had he not, after all, wondered time and time again whether he lived up to his mentor's expectations?

"As long as you have tried your best, Elrohir, I am contented."

"Truly, Ada? Even if I fail my test tomorrow?"

"Yes, truly. Have I ever lied to you?"

"Well there was this one time Ada…" said Elrohir playfully, mood obviously lifted.

"That was a rhetorical question, Elrohir. Go to bed now," said Elrond as he helped his secondborn up. Elrond had no doubt that Elrohir would face these doubts again, but now, he was glad to see that Elrohir had let go, albeit a little. He always had problems letting go and needed to learn, but he was still young—he still had many years to come, and Elrond knew he will always be there, ever the guiding light to his young sons.

 **-The End-**


End file.
